63 Best Penguin Jokes [One-Liners, Kid Jokes + Dad Jokes]

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  • Post last modified:February 16, 2022
  • Post category:Penguins
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63 Best Penguin Jokes [One-Liners, Kid Jokes + Dad Jokes]

If you’re looking for a laugh or a great ice breaker, these jokes about penguins will have you rolling on the floor laughing. Whether you’re looking for a great one-liner or a classic dad joke, we’ve pulled together the best penguin jokes from across the internet. Be careful though, some of them might not fly.

Best Penguin Jokes

Here are our top-rated penguin jokes that are fit for all occasions:

  • Where do penguins keep their money? In a snowbank.
  • How do you know if a penguin has coronavirus? Because they have to self ice-olate.
  • How do penguins know when there’s something wrong? It smells a bit fishy.
  • Why did the penguins start jumping on their first date? They were trying to break the ice.
  • What do penguins wear at the swimming pool? A beak-ini.
  • What do penguins eat for lunch? Ice berg-ers.
  • Where do penguins go to watch movies? At the dive-in.
  • How do penguins make difficult decisions? They flipper coin.
  • What did one penguin say to the other? Nothing, he gave him the cold shoulder.
  • Where do penguins go dancing? The Snow Ball.
  • What game to penguins play at a party? Rock-hopper-scissors.
  • Why is it hard to get along with penguins? Because they’re always fishing for compliments.
  • What do you call a penguin in the desert? Lost.
  • What do Mexican penguins eat? Brrritos.
  • Why did the penguin bride get left at the alter? The groom got cold feet.
  • What’s black, white, black, white, black, white, black, white? A penguin rolling down a hill.
  • What do penguins sing at birthday parties? Freeze a Jolly Good Fellow.
  • Why don’t penguins and polar bears get along? Because they are polar opposites.
  • How does a penguin cook burgers? With his flippers.
  • What is black and white and red all over? A sunburnt penguin.
  • How do penguins make pancakes? With their flippers.

If you love penguins, perhaps you should check out our penguin facts for some genuine information about these adorable birds (yes, penguins are birds!).


Penguin Jokes for Kids

Want some super simple jokes that are guaranteed a laugh among all ages? These penguin jokes are perfect for kids and families:

  • What do penguins wear on their head? Ice caps.
  • What is a penguin’s favorite movie? Frozen.
  • How do you contact a penguin? Give him a wing.
  • Why didn’t the penguin jump off the iceberg? He got cold feet.
  • What is a penguin’s favorite family member? Aunt Arctica.
  • How do penguins pass exams? They wing it.
  • Why was penguin Jesus born in a barn? There was snow room at the inn.
  • What do penguins eat for breakfast? Frosties.

Penguin Jokes for Adults

In this next section, we’ve put together some of the ‘less kid-friendly’ that might get more of a laugh in a bar than at the family Christmas dinner:

  • A penguin walks into a chemist and asks for a pack of condoms.
    The chemist asks,
    “Shall I put that on your bill?”
    The penguin replies “I’m not that kind of penguin”
  • What do penguins do when they want to hook up? Net fish and chill
  • How do penguins take their Whiskey? On the rocks.
  • What is a penguin’s favorite type of dancing? Pole dancing.
  • What’s black and white and goes round and round? A penguin in a revolving door.
  • What’s black and white and goes round and round? A penguin in a washing machine.
  • How do penguin lawyers like their drinks? Served with just-ice.
  • What’s a penguin’s favorite pasta? Penguini.
  • What would you call a penguin with no I? Pengun.
  • Who is a penguin’s favorite pop star? Seal.

Penguin One-Liners

Bookmark these one-liners about penguins for when you need to brighten up the day of your animal-loving friends.

  • When I meet new people, I always talk about my giant penguin. He’s a good icebreaker.
  • I used to love telling jokes about penguins. But it turns out they don’t really fly around here.
  • Penguins always carry fish in their beaks. They don’t have any pockets!
  • I wrote a book on Penguins. In hindsight, paper would have been better.
  • Dr Dr, I feel like a penguin. Sorry, I’ve not got igloo what the problem is.
  • A penguin walks into an airport but the TSA officer stops him from boarding and says “Sorry, Penguins can’t fly”.
  • The penguin got stuck at the billing counter in the supermarket.
  • The penguins were so thirsty that they were drinking water directly out of the beak-ers.
  • The Russians have withdrawn their undercover Penguins. They found out we have Navy Seals.

Penguin Dad Jokes

We saved the best for last; the dad jokes. These dad jokes about penguins are so stupid that they’re funny. If you’re a dad, take note.

  • What’s a penguin’s favorite place to swim? The South Pool.
  • What is a penguin’s favorite video game? The Gentoo Pokémon.
  • Which penguin movie won an Oscar? Lord of the Wings.
  • What’s a penguins favorite play? Julis Freezer.
  • Why are there no penguins in the UK? Because they’re scared of Wales.
  • What does a penguin eat on its birthday? Fish cakes.
  • Why are penguins good race car drivers? They are always in pole position.
  • What is a feather’s favorite TV show? The feather forecast.
  • Why do penguins wear eyeglasses? To help their ice-sight.
  • What shoes do penguins wear in the summer? Flipper flops.

Kieren

Kieren is the founder of Polar Guidebook. After visiting both of the polar regions and meeting the scientists and tour guides that work there, he developed a keen interest in the animals, climate, and geography of the Arctic and Antarctica.