If you’re looking for a laugh or a great ice breaker, these jokes about penguins will have you rolling on the floor laughing. Whether you’re looking for a great one-liner or a classic dad joke, we’ve pulled together the best penguin jokes from across the internet. Be careful though, some of them might not fly.
Best Penguin Jokes
Here are our top-rated penguin jokes that are fit for all occasions:
- Where do penguins keep their money? In a snowbank.
- How do you know if a penguin has coronavirus? Because they have to self ice-olate.
- How do penguins know when there’s something wrong? It smells a bit fishy.
- Why did the penguins start jumping on their first date? They were trying to break the ice.
- What do penguins wear at the swimming pool? A beak-ini.
- What do penguins eat for lunch? Ice berg-ers.
- Where do penguins go to watch movies? At the dive-in.
- How do penguins make difficult decisions? They flipper coin.
- What did one penguin say to the other? Nothing, he gave him the cold shoulder.
- Where do penguins go dancing? The Snow Ball.
- What game to penguins play at a party? Rock-hopper-scissors.
- Why is it hard to get along with penguins? Because they’re always fishing for compliments.
- What do you call a penguin in the desert? Lost.
- What do Mexican penguins eat? Brrritos.
- Why did the penguin bride get left at the alter? The groom got cold feet.
- What’s black, white, black, white, black, white, black, white? A penguin rolling down a hill.
- What do penguins sing at birthday parties? Freeze a Jolly Good Fellow.
- Why don’t penguins and polar bears get along? Because they are polar opposites.
- How does a penguin cook burgers? With his flippers.
- What is black and white and red all over? A sunburnt penguin.
- How do penguins make pancakes? With their flippers.
Penguin Jokes for Kids
Want some super simple jokes that are guaranteed a laugh among all ages? These penguin jokes are perfect for kids and families:
- What do penguins wear on their head? Ice caps.
- What is a penguin’s favorite movie? Frozen.
- How do you contact a penguin? Give him a wing.
- Why didn’t the penguin jump off the iceberg? He got cold feet.
- What is a penguin’s favorite family member? Aunt Arctica.
- How do penguins pass exams? They wing it.
- Why was penguin Jesus born in a barn? There was snow room at the inn.
- What do penguins eat for breakfast? Frosties.
Penguin Jokes for Adults
In this next section, we’ve put together some of the ‘less kid-friendly’ that might get more of a laugh in a bar than at the family Christmas dinner:
- A penguin walks into a chemist and asks for a pack of condoms.
The chemist asks, “Shall I put that on your bill?”
The penguin replies “I’m not that kind of penguin”
- What do penguins do when they want to hook up? Net fish and chill
- How do penguins take their Whiskey? On the rocks.
- What is a penguin’s favorite type of dancing? Pole dancing.
- What’s black and white and goes round and round? A penguin in a revolving door.
- What’s black and white and goes round and round? A penguin in a washing machine.
- How do penguin lawyers like their drinks? Served with just-ice.
- What’s a penguin’s favorite pasta? Penguini.
- What would you call a penguin with no I? Pengun.
- Who is a penguin’s favorite pop star? Seal.
Bookmark these one-liners about penguins for when you need to brighten up the day of your animal-loving friends.
- When I meet new people, I always talk about my giant penguin. He’s a good icebreaker.
- I used to love telling jokes about penguins. But it turns out they don’t really fly around here.
- Penguins always carry fish in their beaks. They don’t have any pockets!
- I wrote a book on Penguins. In hindsight, paper would have been better.
- Dr Dr, I feel like a penguin. Sorry, I’ve not got igloo what the problem is.
- A penguin walks into an airport but the TSA officer stops him from boarding and says “Sorry, Penguins can’t fly”.
- The penguin got stuck at the billing counter in the supermarket.
- The penguins were so thirsty that they were drinking water directly out of the beak-ers.
- The Russians have withdrawn their undercover Penguins. They found out we have Navy Seals.
Penguin Dad Jokes
We saved the best for last; the dad jokes. These dad jokes about penguins are so stupid that they’re funny. If you’re a dad, take note.
- What’s a penguin’s favorite place to swim? The South Pool.
- What is a penguin’s favorite video game? The Gentoo Pokémon.
- Which penguin movie won an Oscar? Lord of the Wings.
- What’s a penguins favorite play? Julis Freezer.
- Why are there no penguins in the UK? Because they’re scared of Wales.
- What does a penguin eat on its birthday? Fish cakes.
- Why are penguins good race car drivers? They are always in pole position.
- What is a feather’s favorite TV show? The feather forecast.
- Why do penguins wear eyeglasses? To help their ice-sight.
- What shoes do penguins wear in the summer? Flipper flops.