Polar bears are the largest and most carnivorous bears that have a few little tricks up their (fur) sleeve, including the fact that they aren’t actually white and they can swim for days on end.
However, if a great polar bear fact just won’t cut the ice, in this article, we’ve pulled together some hilarious polar bear jokes to tell at your next party, even the ice sheets will be cracking up.
Best Polar Bear Jokes
Here are our top 10 polar bear jokes that are a cut above the rest. Keep reading for our full list below.
- Why did the polar bear refuse a job at the North Pole? He didn’t like the company’s altitude.
- What do polar bears have for lunch? An Ice Burger
- Why weren’t polar bears affected by covid? They’ve been ice-olating all their lives
- Why didn’t the polar bear bride turn up to her wedding? She got cold feet.
- What do you call a polar bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
- What is polar bears’ favorite piece of headgear? An ice cap.
- Why don’t polar bears enjoy wearing shoes? They love to go bear foot.
- What do you call a polar bear caught out in the rain? A drizzly bear.
- Why are polar bears so good at car racing? They are always in pole position.
- What do you call a polar bear without ears? Polar B.
Polar Bear Oneliners
If you love to slip witty jokes into your conversations, these one-liners will have your audience giggling.
- How do polar bears pass their laws? They give them the seal of approval.
- Did you hear about the polar bear that took a vow of silence? His lips were sealed.
- Never watch Netflix with a polar bear. They are always pressing paws.
- Did you hear about the polar bear who’s always skating? They call him roller bear.
- Have you heard the love story between two polar bears? It was love at frost sight.
- The dentist polar bear was very much against enamel cruelty.
- Did you hear about the big white bear with a hole through his middle? They call him polo bear.
Polar Bear Jokes for Kids
Need a simple joke that even the kids will get, here are some of our favorite basic polar bear jokes for all the family.
- Why are polar bears popular at parties? They know how to break the ice.
- How do polar bears catch fish? With their bear hands.
- Where do polar bears keep their money? In snowbanks.
- Where do polar bears go dancing? At the snow ball.
- Why don’t polar bears eat fast food? Because they can’t catch it.
- Why do polar bears have fur coats? Because they’d look terrible in anoraks.
- What is a polar bear’s favorite food? Ice cream.
Polar Bear Jokes for Adults
These jokes might require a bit more of a sense of
- Who is a polar bear’s favorite playwright? Shakes-bear.
- What would you call a polar bear that loves to sunbathe? A solar bear.
- Why do polar bears have thick, white coats? Fur protection.
- What is polar bears’ favorite drink? A frost-tea.
- They say that global warming is a joke. Even the polar ice sheets are cracking up.
- The polar bear was so fed up with his job that he decided to only do the bear minimum.
- Where do polar bears go to vote? The North Pole.
- Why do polar bears only live at the north pole? Because if they also lived at the south pole, they would be bipolar bears.
Polar Bear Dad Jokes
Okay, we couldn’t finish off without a few proper dad jokes in the list. We apologize in advance!
- Why do polar bears hate snow jokes? They think they are un-bear-able.
- Why did the polar bear get lost? He just couldn’t get his bear-ings.
- Polar bears listen to a lot of pop songs, they do like cool music.
- What would you call a polar bear who is afraid of confined spaces? Claw-strophobic.
- What do you call a polar bear wearing earplugs? Call him whatever you want, he can’t hear you.
- What did the polar bear eat straight after the dentist fixed his tooth? The dentist.
- How do polar bears stay cool in the summer? Bear conditioning.
- What type of cheese attracts polar bears? Camembert. (Come-on-bear)
- How much do polar bears weigh? Enough to break the ice.
Long Polar Bear Jokes
If you’ve got a little more time on your hands, try one of these longer jokes and see if you can crack a few laughs:
- A polar bear turns to his father and asks, “Dad, am I 100% polar bear? Are you sure I’m not a grizzly bear?”. His father says, “Yes, of course son. You’re a polar bear, I’m a polar bear, my father was a polar bear, his father was a polar bear.”
A few days later, he turns to his mother and asks “Mum, are you sure I’m a polar bear? Are you sure I’m not a black bear or a brown bear?”. His mother says, “Yes, of course son. You’re a polar bear, I’m a polar bear, my mother was a polar bear, his mother was a polar bear.”
A few days later, he turns to his parents together and asks “Mum, Dad, are you sure I’m a polar bear?” They turn to him and ask “Why do you keep asking if you’re a polar bear?”
He says, “Because I’m freezing to death out here”.